Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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