I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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