somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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