I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
