so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
