I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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