An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
the raccoons are back...
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