i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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