16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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