Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
