Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize