It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
