I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize