i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Girls should come with a carfax report
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
