i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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