let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
