Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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