four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I would fuck him just for his dog
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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