i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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