Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
