I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
