Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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