This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
