that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
