Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
