I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
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the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
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Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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