My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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