If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
