His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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