remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
