it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
