Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize