I cockslap morals
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
