we're blogging at a bar
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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