Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
