i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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