Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Your dad touched me again.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
