people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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