my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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