Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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