it's like iHOP with fire
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You pole danced in your parka.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
