I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
