Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm at about main and main street
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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