Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
