oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Randomize