so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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