exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
