OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
