I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
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She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
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I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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