as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
