I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
