My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
