Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize