it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
