Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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