Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
So gin and wine won't be happening again
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He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
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His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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