i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
