i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I want her autograph on my taint
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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