I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
