I think i peed on brittanys purse
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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