Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
