my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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