i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.