I'm gonna have a badass scar
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
