so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
do herpes really smell.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Never underestimate the power of titties
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
